Oh Take Me Back To The Start...

Have you ever gotten to a point where you feel like everything you do you're burying yourself deeper and deeper into a hole with no way out? For the past little while, it has been the story of my life. Like many things, it started with the small stuff. Which piled up and escalated into the big stuff. I'm at the point now where I no longer know what to do anymore. It's like I'm being pulled in so many different directions, and I don't know which is right. Like no matter how I go about doing whatever I do, it seems like I will hurt somebody. And that's the last thing I want. I guess a lot of it is because ever since I've gotten here, for some reason I've just gotten wrapped up and no longer spending much time (if any) in the Word. And as for actual prayer time, that's been non-existant too. Interesting how as soon as it stops, that's when things really start going downhill. Anyways enough brooding for tonight. I've got a recipe for clam chowder I want to make again. Being sick sucks; I skipped my first class today. It was math (big surprise). I spent the time taking a nap instead, and ended up being late for another class. It was kind of fun though, someone else in the house was late too and our buildings were close to each other so we ran together and I learned a new shortcut on the way. In gerantology we watched this video interviewing people in their 90's and their lives and stuff; it was really neat to see their perspective on things and also to see things you've never realized before. Such as how stereotyped they are and how they're always being put down because they're viewed as "too old". There was this one guy and he was like "I told my kids when I can no longer take care of myself, to either put me in a nursing home or a place for used cars. That's what happens when you get run down: you get discarded." It was really sad in some parts. But in others it was really funny. The same guy was talking about how he loves and appreciates his life so much more now. He's nearing 100 and goes to business meetings, reads the paper every day, drives, and lives on his own. His favourite thing to do is play cards, specifically solitaire. I saw him putting the cards down and immediately knew what it was; pretty cool.